Fired jokes

What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?

They're both hot, but they're both quiet.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

The sun is fire.

What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?

Hot Wheels :)

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.