Fired jokes

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

Store owner: But still, why?

Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

Store owner: Oh, I get it now!

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.

Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

Why did the dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot dog!

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

The sun is fire.