Finance

Finance Jokes

Dollar

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Face

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

Slut

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Money

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Machine

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Bank

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

Coin

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

iPad

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.