Finance

Finance jokes

Incest

    • Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

    I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

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    • Wife

    • My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

    Light Bulb

    • How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

    In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

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    • Number

    • I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

    And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

    Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

    Finance memes

    Bill

    • Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

    When God gives you glory, you give it back.

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    • Money

    • My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

    I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

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    • Baby

    • What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

    I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

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    • Bank

    • I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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    • Farmer

    • This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.

    The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."

    The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.

    One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”

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