Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
