Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
Why was the director Injured? He could find the right cast!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What is and orphans favorite move
Home Alone
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
