Fat People jokes
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
What kind of jokes doesn鈥檛 work out?
Fat people jokes.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don鈥檛 wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don鈥檛 work out.