Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber." They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?" "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her" replied Cobber. "Spot on" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples" "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate" "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper"
say beans fast three times
now you’re an idiot
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there want a punch line."
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Arby's fast food, and abortion clinic, your dead babies are our taters and gravies.
Student asks teacher if I throw apple & noodles which 1 will fall 1st teacher replied I don't know then student replied noodles will fall 1st because noodles r fast foods
say "Mike who cheese hairy" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000
People are like taquila glasses
you gotta shoot them down fast
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and the begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down the the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, loling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more. When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying,” Linda your just as amazing at fucking at your sister.”
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.
There is a young lady.. She is beatiful. She got much vote. But she speech very fast. Does she think look smart with do that? She make me feel bad.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man. and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can I'll pat you, and prick you , and mark you with my "D" And then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
So you know The Lion King Do you remember Simba Well his dad is really strong and he walks really fast but Simba walks really slow So I told him to Mufasa
What do u call Stephen going fast? Hot wheels
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
Black people run fast
Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
My friend asked me how fast my humor was and I said it jumps borders then he asked how dark my humor is and I said it picks cotton.
