Fast jokes
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Ur mom fat lol.
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.