Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
What do you call a pig in a farm - a pig in a farm
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What goes moo? Cow.
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