Family

Family Jokes

Dad

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

Cookie

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Hand Job

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."

Rape

Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"

Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."

Prank

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

Sister

I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.

He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!

Incest

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Son

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

Job

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Pic

I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!

Incest

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Mom

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

Closet

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

Incest

My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.