Family jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.