Family jokes
Your mom gay.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.