Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🤣
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Memes
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."