Family jokes
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
Memes
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?
The apples actually get picked.