Family

Family jokes

Orphan

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

Mouse

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Cat

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Memes

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Fam

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

Grandma

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

Closet

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

Grandma

What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?

"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"

Cock

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Sex

"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."

Crack

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

Incest

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.

Mom

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!