Family jokes
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Why do orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"