Family jokes

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.

Kylin fucks his sister.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never learned how to home cook.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

I am an orphan...

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it always comes back.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Why was an orphan loving school?

Because the people actually came back.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.