Family jokes
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Kylin fucks his sister.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Ohhhh he said a bad word I'm tellin
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."