Family jokes
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can’t hit a home run.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.