Family jokes
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
My honest reaction when my mom said no
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What did the mom say to the baby?
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”