Family jokes
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Memes
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Whoever said that about me better pray!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.