Family jokes

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can’t hit a home run.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.

Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.

Why don’t orphans play poker?

'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They don't have anyone to call "daddy."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

What do you call an orphan's family region?

Me time.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They don't have a home to run back to.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?

"Mum" and "Dad."

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.