Family jokes
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.
I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.