Family jokes
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.