Family jokes
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.