Family jokes

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.

Coworker: Knock knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Coworker: Not your parents.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

What issues don't orphans have?

Daddy issues.

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.