Family jokes
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
I got kicked off Ancestry for asking if anyone wants to fuh.
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.