Family jokes
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
Your family in a nutshell.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What is it about sisters who argue?
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.