Family Jokes

What do you call an orphan with parents?

Idk, I never met one before.

Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

An orphan.

Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

Because they can’t find one.

lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?

Long sleeves.

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

Why don’t orphans play football?

They have no home field.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

What is the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They never hit home.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.

10 dicks up your mom's ass!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

Your mom stinks.

That is my joke.

You mom doesn’t really stink.

I know I am stupid. 🤕

Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.

It doesn’t have a home button.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!

Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

Child: I just felt like it.

The next day, the Grandpa is dead.

Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.

Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?

Child: I just felt like it.

The next day, the Grandma is dead.

Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.

Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!

Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!

Survives until tomorrow.

Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*

Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!

(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)