Family

Family jokes

Orphan: I want to be like Batman.

Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

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  • Why do orphans love having sex?

    Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."

    Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?

    Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.

    A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"