Family

Family jokes

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...

Orphan: I want to be like Batman.

Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.