A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Family Jokes
My kid had an accident.
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
