Family jokes
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭