Family jokes
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.