Family jokes
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.