Family jokes
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
Why do orphans play with Barbies?
So they can have a home :)
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Your mom.
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Imagine not having a dad.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
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What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.