Mom!
Family Jokes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
Hvis du tenker på det, så er adopsjon siste valget for et barn, så de som er adoptert var siste valget.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."
Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."
Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
