Family jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
What is an orphan's favorite website? Zillow.
Whoever said that about me better pray!
So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their way home.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.