Family Jokes

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

What's a benefit of being an orphan?

No one makes yo mama jokes to you.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

The boomerang comes back.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

“Those are just contractions.”

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't find home.

How are you and an orphan similar?

Both of your fathers are invisible.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.