My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
