Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."