Family jokes
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
What’s a orphan's fav movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."