Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.
Family Jokes
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
