Family jokes
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Father's Day is a dad joke.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can orphans only have iPhone 13s?
Because there is no home button.