Family jokes
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.