New Family Jokes - Page 138 - Worst Jokes Ever

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?

Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because his mom and dad are in every episode!

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?

Shut up and comb your face.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.