Family jokes
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no daddy to call.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.