Family jokes
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Why do orphans only have iPhone XR?
Because they don't have home buttons.
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?
The apples actually get picked.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home base to run to.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
Where do orphans go when sad?
Not their parents.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Fatherless jokes.