Family jokes
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He couldn’t get to home base.
Hi, son.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Yo mamma sucks!
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?