Family jokes
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?
They don't have a home to run to.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
I like your mom naked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know home base.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.