When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Family Jokes
Yo mamma sucks!
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
