Family

Family jokes

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?

The chicken is actually used for something.

(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

Baby: Wait for me!

(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

(He squishes the child.)

Father: Ketchup!

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.

When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.

Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.

Orphan: How come?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

Orphan: . . . .

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex!

Dad: We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!