Fall jokes
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.
Why did the Twin Towers fall?
They collapsed because of the heat.
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Fall
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.