Expressions jokes

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

Watching their expression change.

Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?

A: Covid.

Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

What do you say when the toilet is clogged?

Oh shit!

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

Orphans got me like: 😂

When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.