Expressions jokes
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
Hi! 👋 I love! 💕
I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
1. What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-bony.
2. Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
3. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had nobody to dance with.
4. What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
5. What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
6. Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
7. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
8. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
9. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
10. How do French skeletons say hello?
“Bone-jour!”
11. What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
12. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
13. What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
“You’re dead to me.”
14. Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
15. Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
16. Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
17. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
“Will you marrow me?”
18. When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
19. What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
20. Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
21. What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
22. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
23. Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
24. What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long?
He became bone dry.
25. What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
26. What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
27. What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
28. What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
29. What does a skeleton fly in if his scare-plane isn’t available?
A skele-copter.
30. What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
“Bone voyage!”
31. What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
32. What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
33. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
34. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
35. What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
36. What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
37. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
38. Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
39. What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
“You suck.”
40. Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
41. What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
“Looks like you are running a femur.”
42. What’s a skeleton’s favorite rock band?
The Grateful Dead.
43. What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
44. What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
45. Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
46. What is half the diameter of a skeletal circle?
The radius.
47. Why did the skeleton student stay late at school?
He was boning up for his exam.
48. What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
49. What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
50. What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
51. Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
52. How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
53. What Spanish food do skeletons enjoy most?
Patella.
54. What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
“I’m bone to be wild!”
55. Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
56. What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
57. What did the skeleton say to his wife?
“I love every bone in your body.”
58. What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
59. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
60. How did skeletons send mail back in the olden days?
The Bony Express.
61. How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
62. What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
63. What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
64. Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
65. Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
66. Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
67. Why can’t skeletons fly over Area 51?
It’s a no-fly bone.
68. What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow mac
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
"Fuck the school, fuck it!"
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Uwuuuuu
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!