Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
