Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Cooper is the best to ever live.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!
Have you ever eaten African food?
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
No one ever forgets it! <3
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
