Ball stretcher.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That’s a huge sack of balls."
He didn’t realize what was about to happen.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
