The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!
Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
PORNHUB
