Emotion jokes

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.

"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."

- Charlie Chaplin

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Why can't dwarfs be depressed?

Because they are compressed.

Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?

A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.

What do you call my sister?

Suicidal.

I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.