Dying jokes
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"