Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the MIC DROP was too high
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the MIC and picked up WEIGHTS
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
What do rappers like cantaloupe?
Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
