Downing jokes
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.