Don't-know

Don't-know jokes

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

  • 2

    • Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

  • 3

    • Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

    He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

    He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

    Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

    The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

    I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

    It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

    I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

  • 4

    • 20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

    How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

    3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

    Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

    So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

    The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

    The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

  • 4

    • My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

    A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

  • 7

    • I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

    What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

    I don't know either.

    Why do you think I asked you? ;)

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road.

    He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?"

    "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done."

    This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine."

    "What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do."

    "You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?"

    Chuck knew the answer. "Me."

    Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house."

    Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either.

    "No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways."

    He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?"

    Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence.

    He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him.

    A single tear welled in Chuck's eye.

    The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.