Dog jokes
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.