DOE jokes
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.