DOE jokes
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.