DOE jokes
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.