Disney jokes

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?

They're calling it Finding Emo.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

What does Mickey's wife drive?

A Minnie-Van!

How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

How to fart:

Let it go, let it go.

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

"I'm going to sue Disney. Not enough racism!" - Grizzy

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

Q: What is the best Disney character?

A: Toe Mater.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!